Do you have unhealthy boundaries?
Boundaries, as discussed in an earlier post, are difficult to understand. In a nutshell, boundaries give us personal integrity – they create separation between us and others. No one is born with the ability to set boundaries – it is a skill we all have to learn.
Without clear boundaries, it’s easy for others can violate our boundaries or for us to violate our own boundaries. These violations often leave us feeling used, unloved, misunderstood, overwhelmed, out of control, worthless, or powerless. Here is a handy list of unhealthy boundaries many of us struggle with. If you answer “yes” to one or more of these, you might want to reach out to a therapist for some support in setting and maintaining boundaries.
Do you trust people too easily or not at all?
Do you overshare private information and later wish you had not?
Do you feel people usually treat you unfairly?
Do you become overwhelmed by other people’s problems?
Do you accept physical intimacy from another person you do not want?
Are you easily overwhelmed by conflict between others?
Do you struggle saying “no” to giving your time, energy, or resources?
Do often feel overwhelmed because you are over committed?
Are you sexual solely to please a partner?
Do you take responsibility for other people’s problems?
Do you accept gifts you do not want and then feel obligated to that person?
Do you give more than you take in relationships?
Do you do or say things to get people to like you?
Do you feel guilty if you say “no”?
Do you let others make decisions for you to avoid conflict?
Do you focus on pleasing others?
Do you expect others to anticipate what you want or need?
Do you act in a way that violates your own values or morals?
Are you easily hurt by people who are untrustworthy?
Do you do or say things that make you feel bad about yourself?
Do you feel guilty if you disagree or express an opinion?